Today we went back to the vet for yet another follow-up. The tech weighed Mabeline and she was down almost another pound.

This is bad.

Mabeline took this opportunity to hiss at the poster on the wall (“The Top Ten Reasons Cats Visit the Vet!” featuring a kitten with GIANT EYES) and then growl at me some. I gave her pets. I understood how she felt.

The vet then suggested that we leave her for the ultrasound that we cancelled yesterday. She warned me that Mabeline’s belly would have to be shaved. I got the only amount of levity I could out of the situation, hoping instead that somehow she would end up with a lion cut. Alas, it was not to be.

I spent the day checking my cell phone every five minutes. Finally I broke down and called the vet’s office, only to find out that they were just finishing. An hour later, I finally spoke with the vet.

Everything is completely fine. No blockages, no funny masses, no heart disease, no bladder sand. And no lion cut. Final diagnosis? She probably doesn’t like the new food she got six weeks ago from the CAT DERMATOLOGIST. Apparently Rabbit and Green Pea is also an affront to justice.

Yes, I just spent many hundreds of dollars to find out that my cat is a picky eater.

My mom ran by to pick her up and bring home the bag of new food that we’re going to try out.

She called while standing my kitchen. “Do you think I should put some of the new food in a bowl?”

“Well,” I said. “Usually with cats you have to give them new food gradually and –”

“She’s eating!”

“What? The old food?”

“I just saw her take four big mouthfuls of the old food. Now she’s licking her lips.”

You know how some people order the $500 hamburger, just to say they’ve eaten it?

Since cats have no inherent right to dignity, here’s a picture of her shaved belly. It’s no lion cut, but it will do.